Rites Of Passage

14 Pages 3412 Words

enced a particularly tumultuous adolescence, even wish that there were a more defined passage into adulthood. One man even stated, “I wish I had it that easy. Run through the fire, step on the coals – then it’s over and done with. You’re a man, everyone knows you’re a man, and that’s the end of it. For me it keeps on going on and on” (Raphael xi). Many men “still feel an urge, a yearning, a mysterious drive to prove themselves as men in more primitive terms” (Raphael xii). However, if Americans actually take a closer look at what members of various other cultures are in fact put through in order to make that “easy” transition, they may change their minds.
Marie Mohler believes, as the man in the previous paragraph, that structured rites of passage can ease life transitions that are ambiguously defined in America today. She states that naming a distinct rite will help one to “learn to recognize its significance as a marker of growth” (65). She does not promote physically painful rituals, but emotionally reaffirming ones. Mohler believes that homosexuals will have a less difficult and more fulfilling life if they participate in formal rites of passage; participation will make them feel less alone in their life journey. The first rite Mohler suggests is that of realizing “firsts,” such as the first thought or feeling of attraction to a member of the same sex and the first gay physical encounter. In addressing the gay/lesbian community, she suggests that these rites will “provide clarity in terms of your gay/lesbian feelings, and can serve to positively confirm that this is an accurate, true part of your self that is worth pursuing” (48). The second rite is that of coming out, which is a two-fold process. First one must come out to oneself and “progress through the stages of homosexual identity formation” (49). Second, one must come out to other members of the community, usually beginnin...